Writing Friday #8: Fiction Prompt

The Snarnidians were a quiet, peaceful people, but they had a strange, painful, and even disturbing custom that they had practiced for centuries. This tradition came to be because of the evil god of produce who rejected tomatoes as a fruit. His name was The Fresh Produce of Derriere. He demanded that every day, a tomato had to be sent to him so he could see if a tomato was really a fruit. The people were very serious about this strange custom.
They would find the biggest tomato possible and set him on a raised platform. This custom was painful because they set someone else on the platform with him. They would place the tomato in a huge fire, the size of the Pacific Ocean. They would wait a few seconds, and then pull it out. Then, they would massage the tomato to loosen up the juices inside. Then, they made a small hole in the tomato and stuffed the ashes inside of it. This made a hot chocolate looking substance. They would squeeze out a few cups and drink it. Then, their emperor, Beeg Pantz, would drink some and spit it out all over the tomato. The tomato would be bobbing up and down in the water around the fire. The water, in this planet of Tomato-be-gone, was all made out of old socks dipped in tomato juice. By this time, the tomato was covered in this strange mixture and a lot of strange water. This would all be done by the entire world of the Snarnidians. They would then roll him off of the platform and into a huge stadium. They would give him the weirdest food in the universe, a Snarnidian delicacy. By this time the Tomato was about to explode, it was the size of a city. They would put it into a huge harness and let it hang there for three days. This would mean that there are at least three tomatoes in there at a time. They would throw livers at it so it would get soft. Now, the tomato would be extremely soft. Many men would jump on top of it and kick it. The tomato would be feeling no pain because of its extremely soft body. The Snarnidians then prayed to The Fresh Produce of Derriere. He would come down to earth and start to blow his nose on it. Then, they dropped it in a pit of Pepto Bismol to make him go to the bathroom. His waste would be very disgusting and would taste like cherries. They would all eat it. Then they would poop it out and throw all over the tomato. This was a very unlucky tomato. By now, the stadium smelled very bad. On the final step of this process, they would dip him in the whole mixture of everything they had done to him again, and then they eat him and then poop it out again and flush it down the toilet. The toilet to them was The Fresh Produce of Derriere.